Zen and the art of ... kissing?

B keeps telling me that I'm an incredible kisser. He's not the first to comment on that. So being the analyst that I am, I decided to figure out how I kiss, what makes it different and pass on this knowledge. Now there are two basic kinds of kissing. The intimate kind, where it is almost a sex act unto itself, and the accessory kind, where the physical act is in control, and kissing is just a part of that. I'm going to speak to the intimate kind, because that's where most people just flat out suck at it.

1. Relax. I hate it when guys tighten up their lips in some twitchy pucker. There are thousands of nerve endings in your lips. Tightening them up just makes the sensitivity drop! So never, ever pucker up!

2. Little/No Tongue. If your just kissing, and not in the throws of passion, then less is definitely more. Like sex, putting your tongue in someone's mouth has intimate overtones. Just as you wouldn't just walk up and shove your dick in someones ass [speaking generally], starting a kiss and throwing tongue into it too soon can be a setback. See #3.

3. Work up to it. Kissing has it's own version of foreplay, just like sex. Lightly kissing, brushing lips together. Take a few seconds and enjoy your partners lips touching yours [unpuckered, See #1]. Use your lips the same as you would your hands, letting them glide over your partners. Take their bottom lip in yours and pull gently. You can start adding a touch of tongue here. Now that doesn't mean shove it down their throat. But use it to reach out and caress their lips. It's all about exploration.

4. Let the passion build naturally. Kissing will lead to some other intimate act. Even if it's just a damn good good-bye kiss in the morning. So don't rush the feeling or the intensity. It'll get there on it's own. Remember, there are two of you doing this. Back and forth, sensing each others level of intensity and adding a bit more to yours. This can be quick or incredibly slow and sensual. Doesn't matter as long as you both do it together.

5. Don't forget the rest of their body! Moving from their lips, over to their ears, down the side of their neck. Mmmmm. ADVANCED TIP: Learn to use your teeth. There is nothing like the feeling of my partners breath on my neck followed by the feeling of their teeth just scraping against my skin. Then their warm tongue just barely touching as they move up to that spot just behind my ear. DAMN.

6. Practice makes perfect. This may seem like a rehash, but it isn't. Literally, take a day, such as a Saturday and spend the whole day kissing. You'd be more than happy to do it with sex, so why not do it with the most important preceding act? Communicate what you do and don't like about your partners technique. But keep in mind this is a learning experience. You have to be comfortable and confident.

7. Want some gum? You don't know how much of a mood kill it is to start kissing and then have to deal with less than pleasant breath. Now, granted, sometimes that freaky mood hits you in the morning, and getting up to brush could kill the moment. But there are some things to do to make sure you minimize the likelihood that your breath is a deal breaker.

• brush your teeth
• brush your tongue What? Yes, brushing your tongue will remove a great deal of the bacteria that cause bad breath. Think about it. The bacteria aren't growing on your teeth. They are growing where it's warm and wet. YOUR TONGUE. Especially at the back. And it's good practice on losing your gag reflex!
  
• use a mouthwash occasionally There are some new washes out there that aren't full of alcohol, so they are much easier to use. And there aren't many good bacteria in your mouth anyway. So kill 'em all!

Basically, kissing is like any other part of the relationship. You have to work at it. And if you're good at it, you can start with a kiss and then get pretty much whatever you want. Trust me on this one. ;-)