One week down

It has been one week since the ex got home. I know, I know. No more posts about drama. But this isn't a drama post. This is a journal entry. Apparently there is a phase in the healing process where you don't want to date, or even get physical with anyone. Well, guess where I'm at! LOL. I have my sense of humor and my appetite. I'm not angry or depressed (for the most part). But I have found myself not really getting exciting at pics of hot guys, or studs in the shower at the gym. Even my ex, who has been the defining role of what I enjoy sexually for the past 6 years, doesn't seem to spark it for me. [Granted, if B were here, things might be a bit different.] But I'm realizing that this is the part where the body and mind reset themselves.

Someday I'm going to be with someone, and I need to start with a clean slate with them when it comes to the physical side of the relationship. Many think that is the easiest part to get over. However, when it is very tightly connected with the emotional side of the relationship, it takes on a whole new meaning. The part you miss is the intimacy, not the orgasm. I am totally amazed at how deep intimacy can totally change a basic physical act into something very bonding.

After six years you get to a point where you can do things with each other that you could never do even in the early dating process, let alone on a hookup. You learn about each others buttons, what turns the other on (and off), and your sexual psyche begins to adapt your own tastes with your partners.

In order for me to start over, I have to go through this weird asexual time. I just hope it doesn't last too long!